Let me first start by saying, I am not a wimp. I have weathered many storms, and rarely do I complain. I survived 14 natural births, all but one without drugs, 3 miscarriages, two of them past 14 weeks, and one so traumatic that I almost died. I know “heaven is for real.” I have managed to keep my sanity through many challenges, but I am having to call on all my reserves with the one currently on my plate.
It seems as if the more I do, the worse things get. I haven’t steered off the course I was following aside from adding back in limited foods. I totally get the process of healing and I was prepared for a correcting crisis. It didn’t surprise me when I started clearing things out of my lungs. I expected to have somewhat of a Herxheimer reaction, but was counting on it being flu-like symptoms that only lasted a few days. I accepted that I was likely to feel worse before I felt better, but I didn’t anticipate it continuing to get worse, and worse, and worse.
I am the type of person who would much rather suffer more for a lesser duration rather than drags things out. I am not one to back down, but to push harder. I don’t give in or up. If what I am doing isn’t working, I look for ways to up the ante, not quit.
I *could* look at the head to toe excruciating, constant pain as a sign that what I am doing is working….and I might be able to convince myself of that if I had turned the corner by now. Instead, it continues to get worse. I have almost completed the anti-viral treatment. Undeniably it has done a great job stirring it up, and I am sure there has been some die off, but over 3 weeks in I would at least like to see things start to stabilize. Maybe I am too optimistic, and should expect less. I admittedly lack patience. I refuse to succumb to a life of daily pain, and I refuse to look to drugs to mask symptoms. I don’t have time to drag this out for months on end either. School starts back the beginning of August.
I am looking at some pretty radical treatment options, or at least folks who are medically indoctrinated will think they are radical. I am going to start back with my juicing fast because while I was just juicing (and drinking kombucha and Zija) the aches and pains were more manageable. It could be that the die-off hadn’t started at that point, but I won’t know until I revisit it. If juice fasting doesn’t bring relief, I am considering a deep, deep detox….deeper even than the Extreme Clean #DetoxU Master Cleanse. I am still in the research phase, but if things don’t get better fast I am preparing to do something drastic. After all, drastic times call for drastic measures.
My self-talk training won’t allow me to just complain. I have to end on a positive note. I have found two temporary relief remedies: the sun, and detox baths. I can bask in the sun for half an hour or so and it melts away the pain. Vitamin D makes a difference! You would think that supplementing with D3 would create the same effect, but it doesn’t. It really is best to let your body work in harmony with nature. Mine sure isn’t fooled. And when the days are cloudy or the pain comes back by nightfall, a good hot soak in the tub with a blend of epsom salt and fco infused with various Ameo oils, always including circulatory oils, Frankincense and Copaiba, will grant relief. The only problem is, I can’t live in the sun or tub all the time. I am thankful though that there are avenues that help, and I know they are doing more than just relieving pain. My biggest comfort is in knowing that ALL things work together for my good, and that “this too shall pass.”