Wednesday was a trip through the valley for me. Don’t get me wrong. I had the distinct honor of living in the Valley for months on end as I learned to live in this world while my Joshua was enjoying paradise. Learning to be eternally minded and earthly grounded was a long journey, and I learned to dwell in the Valley submissively. My second trip was quite different. Only those who have been close enough to smell and taste heaven with the view just out of reach will understand. I could have sojourned in the blissful surreal peacefulness for eternity….just being close was the most fulfilling and yet empty experience I have ever had.
Wednesday was different. Just because I have declared the verbal war over, the enemy has not ceased. The mind chatter continues. The voice of gloom and doom is ever hoping for a word in edgewise. I have flashbacks of life before conquering the debilitating symptoms of my chronic inflammation. I have to take the what-if thoughts captive and throw scripture into the ever turning wheel of self-fulfilling prophesy.
See I firmly believe we create our own reality with the paintbrush of our attitude. What we think about, we bring about. I am constantly renewing my mind and taking thoughts captive. Last week as the pain grew more constant and intensified, I lay in bed and cried thinking even the simplest and most exquisite pleasures in life were being robbed from me again to be replaced by constant agony. I was being sucked into the tornado like funnel of the nightmare I have already lived. But I am an Overcomer, a Warrior Princess, a Daughter of the Creator and Sustainer of the Entire Universe, I will never succumb to the flesh. These are my affirmations that create a different reality than the one my 5 senses experience.
But Wednesday….Wednesday was a different journey through the Valley. I know I have not suffered like Job, but I was definitely commiserating with his demise, when my brain was clear enough to think. It felt as if the virus was a flame throwing serpent and was igniting the nerves attached to every single cell in my body. Bones felt like they were disintegrating, muscles like they had been torn to shreds, tendons as if they would snap. Honestly, no amount of flowery word pictures can recreate the torture chamber my body had trapped me in. The migraine was icing on the cake. I was in and out of a fitful sleep. I prayed I wouldn’t wake back up if life moving forward was going to resemble this.
While I am most thankful that God chose not to have me camp out in the Valley, I am also thankful for the reminder of the pain that some people endure blinded by the notion that there is no hope. While there is breath, there is hope..and when breath is gone, hope is no longer needed. Nutrition is always the answer…and detoxing….and restoring body functions with more targeted nutrition.
Thursday I felt a glimmer of hope that I might find the Me who lives Life Unlimited. Today, the light was shining brighter. I think of Hawk Nelson’s song, Diamonds, and the words, “I surrender to the power of being crushed by Love,” echo in my head. Being crushed by Love can look so different. Sometimes, it is burying your infant child, other times it is getting so close to heaven’s gates you are engulfed with a serenity indescribable, and yet sometimes it is living with such physical pain your flesh is convinced you can’t endure any more…invisible pain that is so illusive that treatment is often in the form of psychotropic drugs and antidepressants for those who trust the system more than the Creator… for those who have had their hope robbed from them. Being crushed by Love can be painful, but never should it end in hopelessness. Even in my darkest hours, I know where my hope lies. I also know that hope and faith are inseparable. Faith without action is no faith at all. So my question to you is…. who do you know that has no hope? Offer them hope by sharing mine. Offer them hope by introducing them to the Giver of Hope. Offer them hope by encouraging them to seek diligently for solutions outside of pharmaceuticals, outside of the “wisdom” of the world.
I am so thankful for the people who have been instrumental in giving me hope, in praying for me, in mentoring me, in teaching me to take my thoughts captive, in schooling me in the ways of the Warrior, in adopting me into the #lifeunlimited family and joining me in the #naturalhealthrevolution. And I am thankful to have once again passed through the Valley. I like to think that every time we are asked to walk that trail, we grow in ways that we could never grow otherwise.
Please feel free to share if you know someone that might need to hear this. I don’t write because I enjoy being vulnerable. I write because I am called to be a Hope Giver. A Difference Maker.